Moments In The Med Lab
by Chi Shiro
Summary: Proving once again Bobby should be kept away from all strange substances that promote euphoric reactions. Bobby/Hank slash. Updated, with a new ending


Moments In The Med Lab  
(First written 7-28-09, edited 10-12-09)

Chi Shiro

Hank/Bobby (Because I'm pretty sure if I ever write an X-men story where they aren't even off handedly mentioned as a couple my head will explode)

Did you see the gay wedding issue of Uncanny hit the stands last month? No? I guess that means I still don't own the X-men and Marvel really has no need to sue.

A/N: I'm answering my own "25 ways" challenge. This covers quote #9. I can't ever do straight humor. *rolls her eyes* Something in my psyche always screams for back story and semblance of plot. Thus I have failed, once again, to write a pure silly fic. It ended up being something else entirely. Oh well.

10-12 edit: I left out a short, but necessary part of the story. And I tweaked the ending for the hell of it.

Because Hank is the best husband a guy could ask for...

XxXxXxXxXx

Dr. Henry McCoy had long considered the liability of having adjacent medical and science labs. Many a day he had been interrupted in the midst of delicate experiments by a coworker seeking medical supplies that had been moved to make room for the latest Petri dish of interest. He had pleaded, blue eyes shining like those of a hopeful child's, for the two rooms to become separate entities in the next blueprints. Preferably entities that resided on separate floors.

Both Xavier and Scott had ignored his request. Their fearless leader believed him to be overreacting. What were the odds that one of their teammates would behave irresponsibly in the lab? The only one who would try anything would be Jubilee and "daddy" Logan had managed to keep her on the short leash as of late.

Charles had taken a slightly less condescending tone in his rejection, noting that one of Hank's many doctorates allowed him to practice general medicine.

"Henry, I did not come to this decision lightly. As the current physician for the team it is imperative for you to have quick access to both the medical room and your laboratory. The future is upon us. The mutant population has expanded exponentially in the mere 14 years since you became part of the X-men family. Troubling as it may be for us, certain mutant gifts would require hospitalization AND," the word was stressed as if Henry wouldn't believe his mentor other wise, "extensive lab work if your colleagues were to be exposed to them. Would you risk Bobby's life by requiring yourself to travel from floor to floor in search of an answer to something he was exposed to?"

It was the last part that served as the cincher that would keep him from asking for awhile. It was one of the few cruelties he could accuse Charles of. When in doubt of winning an argument with the blue scientist Xavier could use the emotional pull of Bobby. Would Hank sacrifice the man he loved for convenience? The answer would, of course, always be no.

But wasn't that what he had done? The convenience of a meshed lab and med wing had allowed Bobby exposure to his latest work.

A young mutant had been shunned in New York's infamous Mutant Town. That was something nearly unheard of for such a culturally diverse neighborhood. She had sought out the Avengers in hopes of finding a way to control the unusual, fungi like growth that covered every inch of skin. Flabbergasted with their inability to aid, her medical file and a sample of the growth had been sent to Westchester.

His earliest findings had fascinated him. Despite the appearance, the sample shared more similarities to a certain plant than to any fungi or moss. The preliminary medical uses of the properties were exponential. Perhaps he would compose a paper on the case.

Lost in thoughts of peer reviewed medical journals, he had failed to notice his husband slipping into the lab. Bobby, used to missing dinner reservations because his darling had a new toy, had come for a preemptive strike. Despite his reputation as the uncultured trickster of the team, he refused to allow tickets to "Andrea Chenier" to be wasted. Creeping up upon him Bobby had grasped the larger man's arm, causing a very surprised Hank to shower him in the sample.

Accidental inhalation of the spores had led to rapid, and rather interesting, mood changes in his beloved. Over the course of an hour Bobby had entered a state that could be described in no other word but euphoric. Further blood analysis would be needed, but his earlier work seemed to be confirmed. The fungus like growth seemed to share many of the same properties as a certain illicit substance.

"You have the bluest fur," Bobby quipped. "Did I ever tell you just how blue your fur is? It's, like, blue! And it's so fucking soft. Can we spend tomorrow naked? Can we just be together in bed for the whole day?"

"If I am correct, my fur has been this shade for the better part of a decade now, beloved." He chose to address the issue of his pelt, leaving the other subject for a better time. "Perhaps this humble Beast is wrong, but did I not kindly ask you to return to the medical bed so I may continue your examination? "

"If you wanted to get me in bed, Hank, you just had to ask," the younger man giggled. Hank noticed the euphoria first observed upon exposure to the substance seemed to be intensifying instead of tapering off. If he was correct, and rarely was he otherwise, the chemicals were reacting to hormonal shifts within Bobby. A truly interesting find indeed. "You hop up there first, Blue, and I'll join you."

"As great a temptation as you serve, oh keeper of my heart, it is in the best interest of both of us to ascertain the extent of damage, if any, to your person. Now be a good little Bobcicle and allow me to obtain a blood sample."

Bobby's grin was one of pure evil seduction.

"Okay, I'll let you take my blood if I can take yours." He pressed the length of himself against Hank. He could feel the other man's interest peak as he nipped the junction betwixt neck and shoulder.

Never one to let it be said that he did not keep him composure in all situations presented to him, Hank gently pushed his lover away. Another time and he would have gleefully allowed Bobby to continue his ministrations. Ensuring Bobby's well being would always come before any temptation of the flesh.

"Spoil sport."

"Indeed. Now, let's talk about that blood sample."

****

The light hurt his eyes. That was the first thing that came to Bobby as he slowly emerged from sleep. Why did the light hurt his eyes? Hank had added black curtains in their bedroom several months prior despite Bobby's protest that they didn't go with the vibe of the room. Vibe of the room be damned, with the new curtains even when they slept til noon the light never hurt his eyes. At best it was diffuse.

He blinked groggily and regretted it. There was that damned light again trying to blind him. Though it was something resembling an answer to get an eye full of the compact fluorescents Hank had installed in the lab. He remembered telling Warren that Blue was going green.

It didn't help that he felt as if Logan were giving his brain a massage from the inside. He hadn't endured a hangover like this one since his honeymoon. Maybe if he just rolled over and snuggled further into Hank's side it would all go away.

Something wasn't adding up for him. He was in the lab with Hank. He was naked in the lab with Hank. He apparently was suffering from a hangover. Yet they never went out drinking after opera night. Hank claimed it dulled the experience. It just didn't make sense.

"Coffee," he finally ventured to ask. He knew Hank's breathing intimately and had known his husband was awake long before he dared to attempt eye opening.

"Indubitably. It's over by the cleaning station," he grinned, feigning innocence. It was a hard task to pull off for one with a mouth full of fangs. Bobby managed a weak glare. "Ah, you want me to fetch you coffee. Now what has put you under the impression that I am your slave boy?"

Bobby couldn't help but shift to a smile. "The lack of clothing is a really good place to start. Plus, if you give me dirty, brown, caffeine water I'll love you forever."

"I vaguely recall extracting that same promise from you several years back. Or did I simply dream that your father got inebriated at our nuptials and spent the reception calling me your wife?" The laugh that followed was warm and mutual.

Being the gentleman that he was, Hank decided to take it easy on his little love. Bobby had had a bad night, after all. Disentangling them, a tribute to their flexibility that they'd both managed to fit on the medical bed, he padded off to retrieve the prized coffee.

"So..." Once begun Bobby seemed to have trouble putting the question into words.

"So? So how long will it be until I return with your precious beverage? Or, so why do you feel like it's our honeymoon all over again?"

Bobby quirked a brow at that. Somedays he wondered if Hank had developed telepathy and just not bothered to tell anyone. "Both of them, actually."

"I shall endeavor to fill you with goodness post haste." There was something wonderful in the smell of early morning coffee. Wonderful enough that he let the slight double entendre of his husband's statement pass. "It seems that we have identified a unique mutant gift that shares similar properties with the common cannabis sativa. Should the ability to synthesize these properties become available this could lead to astonishing break throughs in pain management around the world. Only think of it, darling."

Hank had retreated to medical land. Hank loved medical land. And Bobby loved the way Hank reacted to medical land. His large, blue eyes always shown with delight when explaining a new theory or tinkering with a new machine. Bobby knew the day would come when they became too old or domesticated for super hero life. On that day they would move to some wonderful old house in the suburbs or a farm well outside of town. Hank would most likely take a job as a professor at a college of prestige. He would come home every day with his beautiful eyes shining, thrilled to be molding young minds. Bobby would continue to work as the accountant for most of their acquaintances and finally have some time for his garden. It was a tempting vision, but one that would be put off while they could still fight the good fight.

When in medical land…

"I am thinking of it, darling. I'm wondering why my head feels like I mixed espresso with everclear."

Hank's large hands waved off the implication that his new wonder drug was anything but. "I am under the impression that you very likely inhaled a much larger quantity than is necessary. With proper medical trials I am sure it would yield success. Now come, Bobby, drink your coffee and let us be on our way. More pleasant things await us. If we are to spend the day cuddling naked it would only be proper to retreat to a more comfortable facility." He couldn't help but flash a toothy grin at the unsaid question written on his beloved's face. Leaving Bobby with more questions he simply shrugged. "That promise was the only way to get your blood test accomplished. "

XxXxXxXxXx

-Chi Shiro


End file.
